I know I mentioned this to Wendy, JP, and Michele tonight, but for anyone else who reads this, then I had one thought tonight during Reunion.
The Israelites had to celebrate Passover once a year, right? Which itself was a celebration of The LORD's delivering them from the Egyptians. And, throughout the wilderness, they could not stop complaining. Even after celebrating the Passover, they would go right back to complaining. ("God is terrible. God is terrible. God is terrible. God is good. YAY! God is terrible. God is terrible. God is terrible.")
This leads me to think about the ramification of my thoughts and actions. Even if I worship God with my actions, this story alone shows me the even the actions won't change my heart's true condition or state.
I agree with you, JP. Reading about the Israelites and the disciples makes me really understand (or maybe "visualize" is a better word) how God loves us through times when our faith is really grinding gears.
The Israelites had to celebrate Passover once a year, right? Which itself was a celebration of The LORD's delivering them from the Egyptians. And, throughout the wilderness, they could not stop complaining. Even after celebrating the Passover, they would go right back to complaining. ("God is terrible. God is terrible. God is terrible. God is good. YAY! God is terrible. God is terrible. God is terrible.")
This leads me to think about the ramification of my thoughts and actions. Even if I worship God with my actions, this story alone shows me the even the actions won't change my heart's true condition or state.
I agree with you, JP. Reading about the Israelites and the disciples makes me really understand (or maybe "visualize" is a better word) how God loves us through times when our faith is really grinding gears.
2 comments:
It's just a shame the Israelites didn't have something more visible to remind them of God's presence, power, and goodness. You know? If only God had led them in some visible way, or provided for them consistently.
In all seriousness, I'm amazed by my own ability to go from contrite repentance and hunger for God one minute to, say, thinking up some new way that I can make myself look clever and charming the very next minute. The ceremonies are good--they do remind us--but they sure don't solve the problem of faithfulness. I was excellent at reading my Bible every night for many years, and while I learned a great deal that has been of great value to me, I don't think it made me more faithful to God, just faithful to the habit.
So what does change our hearts' true state? Exodus shows us one way--God just reachin' in and changing it. There's another way illustrated, as well--suffering. When the Israelites leave Egypt, the Egyptians feel different about them. Man, I hope that's now how God sets about changing my heart, but I guess it's better than a heart of stone.
Lately I am seeing that God loves us, even in a state of sin and rebeliousness. That blows me away. So, even when my faith is weak, when my actions are terrible, when I have nothing to bring to the table, Jesus is right there loving me despite myself. This is so humbling, crushing even.
Last night I was wondering and praying: "God why do you still love me? In my rebeliousness, in my weakness, in my unfaithfulness,in my doubt? Why?" It is becuase of Jesus of course. Not becuase of me, or my faith or actions. My heart towards the Lord changes sometimes becuase of his unfailing love, and his abundant grace...
Wandering in the Wildnerness,
Art
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